This post sets up a straw man from the outset, and only gets worse from there.

I understand how we got here, where many experienced programmers, managers, and bloggers only know capital-A Agile as the watered down version sold via certifications, crummy medium posts, and atlassian flavored kanban boards. But that isn't agile.

I can’t even with the pitch into spec driven development as some sort of high watermark of software methodology.