alt Hacker NewsA similar statistic applies to many disabilities. If you give people a few years of time, after they acquired a disability, studies show their happiness isn't substantially different from a person without a disability. Grief comes from lack of accessibility and society failing to support us. But not from the actual situation. I have to explain this every other week, to a non-disabled person that tries to tell me how bad my life must be. Its a well known phenomenon. And a total break of boundaries. Imagine someone walking up to a woman and tellign her they are sorry for her being born as a woman? Not imaginable. But happens with people with disabilities all the time.
This sounds a bit like you dislike the lack of understanding, which itself is based on lack of understanding.
On the other hand I agree that commenting on ones disability is a break of boundaries in most contexts. One should quite often avoid to comment on traits in general that are irrelevant for the context or the conversation.