I need to force myself to do almost everything. Simply saying it's a waste of time because of that isn't practical unless I give up on life entirely.

In practice, it's not binary. I'm interested because I want to make music similar to that which I like listening to.

Sometimes I get enjoyment out of it, but sometimes I lose interest maybe because I'm facing a frustration.

My question of wasting time is connected to "can I even create something worth listening to". If nothing I could make is worth listening to, then I guess I would feel the process of creation is pointless.

I've heard others write about how what they produce is worth listening to, to them. I think that is enough, but I also think I lack confidence in my own judgement. Almost like I need someone else to confirm my validity. I have recognized that as a result of emotional neglect, but I haven't figured out how to fix it.