> eval, send, method_missing, define_method , as a non-rubyist how common are these in real-world code

This depends on the individual writing code. Some use it more than others.

I can only give my use case.

.send() I use a lot. I feel that it is simple to understand - you simply invoke a specific method here. Of course people can just use .method_name() instead (usually without the () in ruby), but sometimes you may autogenerate methods and then need to call something dynamically.

.define_method() I use sometimes, when I batch create methods. For instance I use the HTML colour names, steelblue, darkgreen and so forth, and often I then batch-generate the methods for this, e. g. via the correct RGB code. And similar use cases. But, from about 50 of my main projects in ruby, at best only ... 20 or so use it, whereas about 40 may use .send (or, both a bit lower than that).

eval() I try to avoid; in a few cases I use them or the variants. For instance, in a simple but stupid calculator, I use eval() to calculate the expression (I sanitize it before). It's not ideal but simple. I use instance_eval and class_eval more often, usually for aliases (my brain is bad so I need aliases to remember, and sometimes it helps to think properly about a problem).

method_missing I almost never use anymore. There are a few use cases when it is nice to have, but I found that whenever I would use it, the code became more complex and harder to understand, and I kind of got tired of that. So I try to avoid it. It is not always possible to avoid it, but I try to avoid it when possible.

So, to answer your second question, to me personally I would only think of .send() as very important; the others are sometimes but not that important to me. Real-world code may differ, the rails ecosystem is super-weird to me. They even came up with HashWithIndifferentAccess, and while I understand why they came up with it, it also shows a lack of UNDERSTANDING. This is a really big problem with the rails ecosystem - many rails people really did not or do not know ruby. It is strange.

"untyped parsing" I don't understand why that would ever be a problem. I guess only people whose brain is tied to types think about this as a problem. Types are not a problem to me. I know others disagree but it really is not a problem anywhere. It's interesting to see that some people can only operate when there is a type system in place. Usually in ruby you check for behaviour and capabilities, or, if you are lazy, like me, you use .is_a?() which I also do since it is so simple. I actually often prefer it over .respond_to?() as it is shorter to type. And often the checks I use are simple, e. g. "object, are you a string, hash or array" - that covers perhaps 95% of my use cases already. I would not know why types are needed here or fit in anywhere. They may give additional security (perhaps) but they are not necessary IMO.