Take a sentence for a title, replace one of the verbs with SLAM, LAMBAST and CLAPS BACK, you're hired.
The rest of the article can be AI generated, don't fret about it.
Titles can be genrated as well, just tell the LLM whether your readers love drama and witch hunts or are pseudo intellectuals. It'll come up with the correct framing.
Don't forget the "..., and no one/nothing is <verb>ing" clause.