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mettamagetoday at 5:28 AM2 repliesview on HN

As a Dutchie the way I used sorry is along the lines of “I am sorry, I won’t do that again.”

Then I had a long relationship with an ethnically Dutch person but culturally a Londoner (she grew up there) and also learned there is “I am sorry for your pain and wish I could take it away” (this implies though they probably would do it again because they are not sorry for their actions).

It was maddening at first but now I am used to it. I only do this in English though. In Dutch it’s almost like I physically can’t. It feels wrong to use it that way, almost unethical even.

But maybe that’s a me thing.


Replies

mxmilkiibtoday at 12:20 PM

"I am sorrowful that.."

Scottish n ASD here, I've come to use the above (or just "I'm sad that..", maybe "conflicted" sometimes)

to those who use "sorry" to me, the ambiguity of the overloaded meaning leads me usually to say "no need to apologise, though I do appreciate the sentiment!"

instalabsaitoday at 6:41 AM

“Sorry” is used almost always passive aggressively in Dutch: “Sorry maar”, “Sorry hoor”, “Sorry zeg”