> I will never buy Costco coffee—I know too much about coffee, and my allegiance to a coterie of indie micro roasters (Yes Plz subscription for life) and esoteric brewing methods has ruined me for life from enjoying the simple pleasures of a Kirkland Signature K-Cup pod.

You can pry the 2-lb bags of Mayorga Cafe Cubano dark roast coffee from my cold, dead hands.