> One is security updates and bug fixes.

That's where you're wrong. They're not one and the same.

Debian stable often defers non-security bug fixes for up to two years by playing this game.

I'm not interested in new features unless they make things actually work.

Debian stable time and again favors broken over new. Broken kernels, broken packages. At least they're stable in their brokenness.

Hence my complaint.