alt Hacker NewsChancellor mcmcmc: We have a $27 billion endowment. We can easily fund these positions.
Chancellor mcmcmc, 2027: We have a $26 billion endowment. We can easily fund these positions. (Unrelated note: all freshman-level math courses have been moved to Temporary Building #17.)
Chancellor mcmcmc, 2028: We have a $24.8 billion endowment. And congratulations to Chancellor Trump! (Note: all freshman humanities classes have been moved to Temporary Building #17.)
Chancellor mcmcmc, 2029: We have nearly $23 billion in our endowment. We can easily fund these positions. (Note: due to recent outages, all students residing in purple zones should use their personal data plans until further notice.)
Chancellor mcmcmc, 2030: We have nearly $21 billion in our endowment. We can easily fund these positions. (Note: Due to wait times at the Student Supplement Center, please consult your family practitioner for all supplement-related issues.)
Chancellor mcmcmc, 2031: We have plenty in our endowment, frankly. Probably more than anyone's ever seen-- billions, with a "b." We can easily fund these positions and honestly, many, many others. (Note: all classes currently scheduled in Temporary Building #17 will be rescheduled at a location TBD.)
Chancellor mcmcmc, 2032: It is with deep regret that I inform the students and faculty that I will be resigning at the end of this year's streamcast. It's been such an honor to...
Edit: clarification :)
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Are all your comments this abrasive and obtuse? Obviously chucking a million at every grad student every year to do whatever they feel like is poor financial decision making. If the university is funding the research, they can retain the IP and reap the financial benefits. It’s a private for-profit organization. Endowment aside, they have hundreds of millions in surplus operating income. What do they need public funds for?
> We have a $27 billion endowment. We can easily fund these positions. > Chancellor mcmcmc, 2027: We have a $26 billion endowment.
With that much capital, even conservative management should exceed $100M in interest annually, meaning they could have a $100M+ budget indefinitely. That's enough money to give a couple thousand employees a six figure salary while reserving 2x the salary amount for overhead like benefits, facilities and research efforts.