> Because the last time I looked it appeared to need some godawful slow bytecode interpreter that took up thousands of kilobytes of RAM.

Did you looked at java 1.2 at 1998 last time? Because after that there is compiler which produce some very efficient profile-guide-optimized code and do tricks like de-virtualization which is not possible with static compiler with support of multiple compilation units (like C++).

Really, there was time in history when HotSpot-compiled JVM bytecode was faster than everything that gcc could produce for comparable tasks. Yes, now this gap is reversed again, as both gcc and clang become much more clever, but still gap is not very wide now.