> You still can’t call a function that returns a future from synchronous code. (Well, you can, but if you do, the person who later maintains your code will invent a time machine, travel back in time to the moment that you did this and stab you in the face with a #2 pencil.)

Author makes up a lie.

Then lampshades it away with a colorful non sequitur.

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The alternatives that people praise like golang, have other tradeoffs that are much worse because the async logic is now implicit. Your entire codebase is now a surface area that is at risk of being blocked by waiting on a channel; the the mitigation of this is through responsible use of coroutines, but then you're right back around to extra information about your code that is analogous to colring, except not as explicit as async/await.