>Those are certainly shitty ways to ensure equity. Why are they what you jump to?

Because they're effectively what proponents of equity have implemented in practice:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/30/opinion/white-students-un...

>What if we did a better job helping parents with childcare and healthcare?

I mean we've already spent trillions on such efforts over the last half century, and the effects have been pretty minimal (and in some cases I'd argue outright counterproductive). See Abbott Districts in New Jersey, the Head Start preschool program, subsidized daycare in every state, etc.