Nah pry my lists of 3 from my cold dead hands. And my emdashes sometime after that.
It's not X, it's Y, though? Couldn't be me.
I think the real tell is when Y~=X. It's just performative. Like genuinely formative (the other tell is real/actual/genuine over a weak claim).
It's a useful construction. "It's not true love, you matched with her on Hinge last week and have never met her, please don't send her $1000 in Apple gift cards" is punchy.