If I'm reading the room, the sentiment is Honda is incompetent and their cars are security holes on wheels. But if the opposite happened, they would be technofascists locking us out of our own cars, a 30 post sub-thread "this is why I drive a 1999 Ford Ranger" would ensue, and someone would be investigating it as a possible GPL violation. Do I have this right?

It's also a good assumption most people airing such complaints have never eaten in a restaurant fancy enough to have valet parking, let alone evil valets.

That said, are evil valets known to tote around USB drives, or would they more likely use your navigation system to drive back to your empty house and clean it out while you're eating?