I struggle with interacting with random people, too. I'm alright with writing stuff that is largely impersonal and in public (like here on HN), but there's something about a direct email or a real in-person conversation with someone who I don't know that makes me feel anxious in ways that I don't like.

Maybe it's because I feel like I don't have all the right answers, or that it might be an uphill battle for me in some way, or I'm afraid of making a lasting connection (and the combination of burden and joy that this brings), or I'm instead afraid of missing a connection despite putting effort into it. Perhaps it is all of those things together or something else entirely.

Whatever it is, I know one thing for sure: Inaction has a deterministic outcome.

So when I do nothing, then nothing happens. Nothing is gained, nothing is lost, and nothing is spent.

And maybe that's not an optimal outcome, but it's at least a predictable outcome -- and that alone seems to serve to resolve whatever unwelcome feelings of anxiety I might otherwise experience.

I’m curious to hear about why talking to strangers is troublesome for you? For me maybe when I was younger but these days I just treat everyone like an old friend. What kind of pitfalls do you run into? Just a general sense of anxiety?