Reading through this, for some reason, something clicked for me that I've really struggled to understand for a long time.

I have received a truck load of positive feedback (but of course some negative too) in my career and I've always felt somewhat undeserving of it. It's not even imposter syndrome, I just never felt that, for example, "attention to detail" was really something I was good at, but I got that one over and over. In fact, I've often felt I am more than a bit hasty. I always edit my comments after posting them to fix something minor. Sometimes I am so hasty, that I force push the same branch like four or five times in a row before I actually have things in order.

But I think I get it now. Attention to detail is what it looks like. I probably pay attention to fewer details than average, but through experience I've honed a pretty good sense for which ones are most important. The things I tend to screw up and need to amend quickly are usually mundane things that in some cases should possibly even just be automated. But even when I do realize shortly after pushing that something is full-on not gonna work, it's not that I sat there and did a careful sweep over all of the important details; my undiagnosed executive dysfunction would never allow for that. It was rather that I double checked just a few details as a sanity check, running things through mental models. And I think having a very good sense for what details you need to scrutinize is exactly what looks like careful attention to detail. It's nothing special, just experience; kind of like when they analyze the gaze of experienced drivers vs inexperienced and can see that the experienced drivers quickly fixate on important details whereas inexperienced drivers are less focused and scan more broadly.

What does that have to do with this article at all? Well, when I read the C list I felt a little nervous. I mean I've broken production a fair few times. Have I ever failed to adequately communicate what I'm working on? Not often but certainly too many times. Generally I am also just mediocre at best at the parts of the job that aren't writing code. But, then when I read the A list, it just felt like reading a description of how I like to work. And I'm not special in that regard at all, but it's at least easier to understand what types of concrete behaviors might set us apart from less senior engineers, aside from more gray hairs and remembering using Windows 98, whereas most peer and manager feedback often feels too detached from the actual behaviors; because the feedback is what people perceive. And I am realizing it's actually rather important to understand the gap between how you feel inside about yourself and how people perceive you, if you really want to earnestly accept feedback, both negative and positive.

I fully realize there is no non-conceited way to format this comment. "Oh, woe is me. I receive too much positive feedback that I feel like I didn't really earn." But, there really is a uniquely bad feeling from getting compliments you don't feel you have earned; what do you say, "But you're wrong! I suck!"