alt Hacker NewsThis is a very strident response, presented with a lot of confidence, and I think that confidence is unwarranted.
I haven’t read the article, so maybe it’s been covered, but here’s a simple way I usually “ask for no.” I send a message on Slack:
“Hey (name), I’m planning to (do a thing) on Wednesday. Let me know if you have concerns.”
It doesn’t come across as usurping authority, or sneaky, or any of the other very italicized things you’re worried about. It comes across as polite and confident.
I’m a VP and this is how I expect my managers to interact with me on major decisions that are within their purview (I don’t need to hear about minor decisions) and it’s also the culture I’m trying to create at the team contributor level as well. Ownership and autonomy, within well-defined guardrails.
See also Turn the Ship Around and its “I intend to” structure.
The culture you are creating is actually the opposite: no ownership, and no autonomy
You are delegating decisions that are in your responsibility to another person (=no ownership), and you are not able to progress unless someone else [even if silently] green lights your approach (=no autonomy).
Another similar management anti-pattern is “please copy me on all your communications” [for a chance to override your decisions]. This one feels more obviously off for many people, but works exactly the same way.
This is a valid team collaboration approach, but a major smell if people run their decision making like this with higher-ups. People often mix up these two.