You are surely oversimplifying it. The amendment clearly says "born or naturalized"; can hatching or transmogrification be considered a birth? We need to look at the original meaning of the word "born" in 1868.
Also, it does not say anything about having political rights, just about being a "person", which will surely start a separate debate :)
Hatching is definitely a birth (where do you think chickens come from?) but transmogrification maybe not.
I look forward to reading the SCOTUS opinions on "US vs Chnr'xu@jjjjjj".
At some point in the not-too-distant future this is going to recur on trying to apply the word "born" to AI, see e.g. Short Circuit II, Humans (2015)