You can use Quickselect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quickselect) or Floyd-Rivest (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floyd%E2%80%93Rivest_algorithm)

Quickselect is fairly simple to understand if you already understand Quicksort. You use use a binary division but you avoid sorting sections where the order doesn't matter.

Let's start with a 7 element array

    [ 2, 4, 7, 5, 3, 6, 1 ]

We pivot on the mid-point (5) so that values less than end before it in the array and numbers larger end up after it

    [ 2, 4, 3, 1, 5, 7, 6 ]

Since 5 is now at an index greater than the midpoint, you know the median must be less than 5, so you don't care that 7 and 6 aren't sorted.

We pivot the first partition (first 4 elements) on 3 and get

   [ 2, 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 6 ]

We don't care that 2 and 1 are unsorted, because we know that the median is > 3 (3 is at index #2 and we want index #3), so the median must be 4