I've only ever owned a Steam Deck so can't really comment. I used it a couple times intending to use it when travelling by train then sold it because it was too wide/big to really carry around with the carry case. Didn't really see the advantage over just playing mobile games (or doomscrolling social media etc) or playing more indie/basic games on the laptop.

Xbox is fine, it updates itself (firmware/OS updates only take about 5 mins) and the servers are fast enough. There's basically no maintenance. Can be annoying if it's a game you wanted to play at the moment updating but then Steam is the same.