Few can top the opening line of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
But there were brave souls who tried, in the now-defunct Bulwer-Lytton Contest [0].
Where else could you find gems like these?
> The day I lost my tractor was the same day I found out my wife was moonlighting as a hooker when she gave me a wad of cash and told me, “It’s from a John, dear."
0: https://www.bulwer-lytton.comThe "Lyttle Lytton" contest seems to still be going strong, for what it's worth: https://adamcadre.ac/lyttle/2026.html
Truly evidence that we’re living in the worst timeline — the Bulwer-Lytton has been one of the highlights of my year for as long as I can remember. My parents introduced me to it before I could read; I remember them laughing and crying as they tried to explain to four-year-old me why this one inscrutable sentence was the funniest thing on earth. I’ve looked forward to it ever since, though recently I’ve only checked in to read the dishonorable mentions and winners once every few years.
Knowing I’ll never again check and find a year’s crop of perfect sentences dims the light more than I would have expected. Sad times.