> I have to ask…why do people want a Turing complete language to configure stuff?

I don't understand this either. IMO, the current SOTA tool for configuration is CUE, because it is the only one that lets you write schemas for arbitrary refinements. I haven't used it myself, but my understanding is that everybody should be writing configurations in something like this instead of YAML, TOML, HCL, or a custom DSL with no tooling. And yes, definitely not in a Turing complete programing language.