All of those requirements seem weird. I selfhost a few software and the user count is one. My extent at sysadmin is to write a systemd service, configure the proxy (if it’s on a vps and I use subdomains), and maybe use ansible for scripting the provisioning and deploy.
It’s fine to publish recommendations how to tune configurations for specific usages. But I only need the app, not the various things that you may think I need. And I really want the app to only solve its essential problem. It should not take care of the IT part other than providing configuration samples.
And I do `docker compose up` now with a caddy server in front of docker, so I can just add a new site (sub domain or directory) that reverse proxies to that docker container's port. And the beauty is, that I have a skill for it for claude code, so I actually don't have to do any of that for my local self-hosted stuff.
I just call /publish-local-docker subdomain.mydomain.local
And if there isn't a docker compose, it will create one, and then run it, and update caddy server on its own.