See here, I’m just a poor NFL Championship farmer. Without these futures to give me some certainty around prices, it’s just too risky to plant these crops. You city folk think that NFL Championships grow in your fancy stadiums, and you never see all the work I put into feeding and watering all these athletes. It’s risky enough as it is, the crop can fail due to weather, or even something so small as Dave forgetting to wear his lucky socks when a game is on.