Malort tastes like what it is: a cleaning solvent. It's a prank Chicagoans play on tourists. The authentic, artistically coherent version of Malort is Novasalus.

Malort improves a lot with a little airing out. Straight out of the bottle and into a shot glass tastes like poison, but if you leave it in a glass, maybe giving it a few swirls for a bit while doing something else (like trying to convince someone to try it for the first time), it tempers out quite a bit, and, while still bitter, becomes a drink that at least sometimes can be enjoyed.