I think we may be using different words to describe the same concept. You think of it as them not being “people“, and I think of it as them not being “aligned“. But fundamentally, the problem is they are entities that take unpredictable actions that that their creators and their users are not OK with.
The only place where I think we might still disagree is whether it’s possible to understand the tool. My position is that, at our current level, it’s not. And that the more advanced they get, the less possible it will be.
Both are true, even if they were aligned they still wouldn’t be doing what they do for reasons analogous to why people would. You’re probably right that we can’t fully understand how they function, and that will get harder, but it’s possible to be less wrong, such as by not anthropomorphising them.
Maybe one day we will build systems much more like us, but this is not that day, and if so it’s a long way off IMHO.