alt Hacker NewsThese are excellent notes for neurotypical people, particularly those who are extrovert or can mask / fake it without undue cost :)
Addendum rather than correction - neurodivergent and or introvert behaviour may differ - I'm AuDHD and e.g. "body language breaking rapport" doesn't mean I'm no longer interested and neither does "shifting eyes" -- that's my default behaviour which takes extreme amount of unsustainable energy to break for short targeted periods of time -- if my body language are engaged and I'm looking in your eyes, I'm probably not hearing what you're saying as all my CPU cycles are peak multithreading to control my body :).
I think the list is like PMP - read, then evaluate customize and implement portions as feasible for your specific situation.
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I will readily admit that even when I know my counterpart is neurodivergent, I still have issues adjusting my expectations and reactions. Without practice with repeated interactions over time it’s hard to mentally pivot. Sometimes I find it’s easier for me if we have the same conversations over a voice call where the body language element is removed entirely.
It's good to hear I'm not the only one with the eye contact thing — I also noticed about myself that if I'm looking in another person's eyes, it means their words aren't really registering in my head.
This also came up when trying EMDR in a mental health setting, where you're supposed to follow the therapist's pointer with your eyes while thinking about past events. I found that I couldn't think about anything else except making sure my eyes were following the pointer; directing my gaze took up all the available mental bandwidth.