At this point I literally have no idea what modern coding is supposed to look like. I still open my editor, type stuff in and run make. All these tools are released daily and they just fly over my caveman head.
I feel like theres so much churn and change there's no point in trying to keep up.
That’s fine, and you’re doing fine. In fact, in a few years you will probably be far more skilled than most “software engineers”.
I used to be that person, and suddenly I haven’t opened an editor or written a line of code by hand in 6+ months.