This article is pure AI slop. But if you want an objective metric, Pangram 4.0 says "100 % of this text is AI". In my experience, Pangram has a very low false negative rate and relatively high false positive rate for human writing. That means it errs on the side of humans. So if it says something is 100% AI written, I'm quite convinced it is.

But beyond that, can't you see how terrible the writing is? This is unadulterated AI slop.