Ever since I was a teenager, I started to develop cyclical bouts of existential crises.

While I have been feeling better for quite some time, I feel another starting to brew. While I was never one of the fabled 10x or rockstar developers, I still derived a lot of enjoyment and and sense of purpose from my work.

With the utility of LLMs becoming more ubiquitous by the day, what purpose can I provide anymore? I struggled greatly to get where I am today, and while it might not be impressive to any of my fellow programmers, I am still proud to be a programmer.

I obtained a degree in CS because I found the entire field to be fascinating. I had great passion for learning many of the subjects. What I learned in my degree changed my life forever. I seriously went from one of the, "What's the point in learning most math if you never use it?" to being absolutely infatuated with the subject. (I'm still bad at math, but that does not detract from my pleasure).

With the utmost certainty, I did not push through all my struggles just to prompt LLMs all day. Maybe's its my insecurities manifesting, but I want people to say, "You did a great job" and not "Claude did a great job." I understand the Buddhist were likely correct. My suffering really does come from my attachment, but at the same time, I do not want to let it go.

I have no opposition to using LLMs as tools. I think a fine balance can be achieved. LLMs can even be exceptional learning tools when used appropriately.

If programming is just a means to an end to you, then you will receive no ill judgements from me. We all have different motives in life. But programming has always meant something more to me.