Ignoring how the sausage is made is how people repeat the same mistakes, over and over, in domains as diverse as government, tech, employment, and automobiles.
I get that not everyone has the bandwidth or capability to dig into things on their own, but we live in a hostile environment, and we have to either acknowledge that and plan for it, or touch the hot stove over and over again.
You hosting your own phone service too? Everybody has a limit.
This is partly why I like to read HN comments. People here go above and beyond in ways I would never bother. Reading other's experiences saves me from going through it myself.
There's no need to test mail services first hand. Just read up and do some rudimentary research.