logoalt Hacker News

nutjob2yesterday at 8:32 PM5 repliesview on HN

I never enjoyed spending time with my late parents. I only did so out of a sense of obligation. I have no children and have never really given that choice a second thought.

Its interesting that people value their relationship with their children so much and I assume its due to a deep sense of connection with them, they being "flesh and blood" but I've never given that any weight. I feel much more connected to people who have had similar life experiences and ideas to myself, and that could be anyone. I have quite a few relatives who I've never met or met once and do not see because they are nothing like me.

I suspect this is mostly due to being pretty far out on the pointy bits of various bell curves.


Replies

seizethecheeseyesterday at 9:03 PM

It’s actually incomprehensible as a non parent. Your entire psychology re-orients after kids.

show 1 reply
andersonpicoyesterday at 11:44 PM

> I suspect this is mostly due to being pretty far out on the pointy bits of various bell curves.

this is the most cringe, pick me, "look how I'm not like the other girls" thing I've ever read on this forum

thomasahleyesterday at 9:23 PM

Do you want people here to try to convince you to have kids?

magicalhippoyesterday at 8:44 PM

It also depends on the parents and how they nurtured the relationship with the child as they grew up.

I had a a good relationship with mine growing up, and enjoyed visiting, talking and so on as I was an adult.

A good friend had it different. They were not good parents. He, much like you, visit out of obligation and not to get written out of the will quite frankly. If it was up to him he'd never see them again.

contingenciesyesterday at 9:12 PM

One thing that surprised me as a parent is that watching kids grow up provides significant introspective reflection which is nourishing in a different kind of way.