None of those issues are a problem for corporate managed Windows installations, which would be the proper comparator in the case given in the article.
There are other reasons that Windows sucks, even (or especially?) in a corporate environment, just not those.
Is that true? No stock tickers, no ads, no ai nags? No "news"? No weird notifications that ask for my attention? I guess no regular weird update windows would be the case, but the rest?