alt Hacker News> does anyone know why
In a nutshell, overcommit. It's more or less broken by design but it's also incredibly practical so pretty much everyone does it.
Couple that with the fact that it's difficult bordering on impossible to correctly determine the culprit. If you've got 16 GB RAM and the user launches 3 processes each of which attempts to use 8 GB who should you kill?
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Notably windows doesn't use overcommit, and degrades much more gracefully under memory pressure. The biggest tradeoff is the amount of disk space consumed by a page file that also has to reserve space for unused pages that have been allocated but never been swapped in. On linux you can turn overcommit off, but there's too much software written around the assumption that overcommit is on
With some workarounds, I've put chrome and slack into the same RAM-limited cgroup - no more whole system freezes. From my anecdotal evidence, this also answers the question "who should you kill" :)