logoalt Hacker News

richardlblair • today at 6:55 PM • 4 replies • view on HN

Think of growing up feeling inadequate. Even in the eyes of your parents. Then learning that you don't suck and were completely undeserving of being mistreated as a child.

(No child is deserving of being mistreated but that's a whole other bag of worms)


Replies

jitix • today at 7:02 PM

100%. And this has been repeated generation after generation. Its just that in the past 50 years we have started caring and being kind towards ourselves and it has shown tangible results in the progress of human civilization as a whole.

But some regions/cultures are lagging (but catching up fast) as per my experience living in 5 states across 3 countries spanning two very different continents.

➕ show 1 reply
jghn • today at 7:02 PM

A diagnosis did not alter my thinking in this regard whatsoever. That's part of what I was saying I don't understand.

➕ show 3 replies
LudwigNagasena • today at 7:16 PM

What does a diagnosis have to do with any of that? How is that a whole other bag worms, that’s exactly the topic at hand.

CPLX • today at 7:44 PM

This logic doesn't make sense though. What does "learning you don't suck" mean? You still do "suck" but whatever definition was being used at the time. You still didn't do your homework or stay calm in class, that actually happened. It had consequences.

The only way it does make sense is if you think the consequences should be different because some doctor give it a name. But then you say nobody should have been treated that way regardless of the diagnoses. If the diagnoses doesn't matter why does it matter?

As someone who definitely has dealt with all this for my entire life I've found it much easier to just focus on behavior and consequences and alternatives. Trying to place it all in a moral/medical framework is a black hole. If your actions hurt others or otherwise have negative results you have to address that.