>You'd need a self, a unified goal, for any of this to add up to something.

Insects can pass the mirror test. But more to the point, viruses don't need a "self" to do what they do.

And goals can exist apart from biology (my fridge "wants" to keep the temperature in range, and exercises extreme self-discipline and consistency to achieve its goals!)

And neither are sensors needed: the dandelion seed "wants" to fly in the wind.

The only question is which way the gradient is pointing. Selection takes care of the rest.

On that note, ALife need not be human-like at all... we just really like making things in our own image :)