Realism would involve using the correct pronouns. There has been a political/cultural impetus towards ignoring gender differences full stop. Men of course have a higher propensity towards violence, it is society’s/ parent’s role to ensure that is channeled for good, unfortunately, as in this case, a higher prevalence of mental illness makes this even more difficult

Is it that taboo? The BBC article has: "Van Rootselaar was born a biological male, but identified as a female, authorities said."

putting women in quotes gives the game up. i don’t know what reasonable dialog you’re looking to have