Other story, for balance: My father was diagnosed (again, in Idaho) with a rare ocuclar melanoma. Very few cases, but highly treatable. The specialist was in SF where I lived at the time. We went there, and it was a very different experience from Dana-Farber. The clinician was an academic who only saw patients like once a week. People were sitting on the floor lined up out the door.

His staff was gruff, there was such limited information as we progressed through the system, there were so many patients there from all over the western part of the US. For many of them it was their first time with cancer, and sitting there in the waiting room with my (non-medical!!!) bio training my Dad would often offer my services to "explain" something. Which I did, and I think I helped, but it was all rough.

The main doctor was so gruff and obnoxious that I emailed my MD friends in Boston (was still in grad school) asking how I could file a complaint.

But at the end of the day that process helped my father (and many of those other people ) get state-of-the-art proton beam therapy, covered by insurance.

Sadly my dad's cancer came back a short time later and he passed away (miss you too Dad).

But now, 15 years later, having been through the healthcare system in so many ways, and having many friends who are academic specialist MDs, I recognize that the doctor in SF was operating with incredible constraints, finite resources, and probably tired. And my Dad got the best possible treatment technology as a result of the second opinion.

But at the time I wanted to strangle the doctor.

I'm writing this just to say that sometimes the second opinion is tough. Sometimes it's in a far-away place or the doctors are jerks. Maybe even borderline unprofessional. They're the bastard operator from hell in their own little world. But again, this is life-and-death.

GET THAT SECOND OPINION EVEN IF THE DOCTOR IS A DICK.