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howtoquitwell • today at 2:34 AM • 2 replies • view on HN

Fun story time:

Almost a decade ago now, I was a happy, high-functioning alcoholic. Winery tours, Scotch tastings, workplace drinks, etc.

It was all "fine" until I started struggling to get to sleep without a little "nudge"; then it was getting back to sleep in the wee hours; then it was every hour or two, 24x7.

Then I decided to go cold turkey while on vacation in Hawaii with my family, because who wants to be the drunk asshole in search of a cocktail while everyone else is having a good, sober time at the beach?

Boom: detox seizures, ER visit, and the ever-so-helpful prescription of Ativan so I wouldn't seize again. I was discharged with the instructions to "take as needed, up to every four hours." Since I was an addict in pain, I took that to mean, "take them every four hours, or maybe more often."

Cut forward 3-4 days, and the scrip ran out. Boom: more DTs, this time from the benzos.

It wasn't long after that when I went through my first inpatient psych visit b/c I was in no way equipped to handle withdrawals from two highly-addictive drugs at the same time.

Sadly it took another couple of years and another trip through the ER + inpatient care before I realized that doctors would and did prescribe me meds that were actively harmful in the interest of short-term comfort.

It's been six years since the last big episode and I'm genuinely grateful I only threatened myself with my shitty brain chemistry (however aggravated by poor medical intervention) rather than putting other people at risk. It could have been much worse if, say, I routinely drove people around or did any kind of safety-critical work.

Regardless: benzos are not "lightweight" drugs, and giving them to people with any kind of history of substance abuse disorders is a Bad Idea.


Replies

stingraycharles • today at 6:18 AM

How are you feeling now, and how well does your brain recover from these things? I always wonder whether these kind of things have some lasting effect on, say, your ability to focus.

nyargh • today at 5:20 AM

I appreciate the bravery of you and others in this thread, sharing details of really horrible - and at the time likely very shameful experiences.

I'm glad to hear you (all) made it to the other side, and hope your stories give others who are struggling with addiction courage to seek help and free themselves.