One time at a pub I had started casually talking to a dude sitting next to me. I had just been there reading a novel, we had some small back and forth. One of my strategies of encouraging conversation is being interested in the other person, so I asked "so, what do you do?"
He got very upset with me about that question. He went on about how everyone around here is so focused on their work and not living life (this was in a very corporate office tower part of town, so...yeah). Everyone only cares about what you produce, not with how you live. It turns out he had also been laid off earlier that day as well. We discussed this a good bit, and in the end had a good night hanging out at the bar. I never met him again, but I think about that conversation often.
That interaction made me decide not to ask that question going forward. These days, instead of asking "what do you do?", I ask things like "what keeps you busy in life?" Because ultimately that's closer to what I'm really wondering.
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One time at a pub I had started casually talking to a dude sitting next to me. I had just been there reading a novel, we had some small back and forth. One of my strategies of encouraging conversation is being interested in the other person, so I asked "so, what do you do?"
He got very upset with me about that question. He went on about how everyone around here is so focused on their work and not living life (this was in a very corporate office tower part of town, so...yeah). Everyone only cares about what you produce, not with how you live. It turns out he had also been laid off earlier that day as well. We discussed this a good bit, and in the end had a good night hanging out at the bar. I never met him again, but I think about that conversation often.
That interaction made me decide not to ask that question going forward. These days, instead of asking "what do you do?", I ask things like "what keeps you busy in life?" Because ultimately that's closer to what I'm really wondering.