The sole purpose of a press release is to generate positive interest. It is not entitled for the reader to expect the time they have invested in reading it to be worthwhile.
This.
And I wish I had thought to grab that nick years ago…
When tweetles battle beetles… AND…
Press release announcing a new car:
> erhmygord I can't even buy this car right this second for nearly nothing and use it to drive a thousand miles per hour through a kindergarten parking lot?!?!