> They recompiled it for EVERY kernel release of every supported distribution (they had never heard of DPMS apparently)

Neither have I, I think you goofed up on your acronyms? For a driver as embedded as crowdstrike you need to recompile, there's no other way around it. Linux doesn't provide anything stable to target and a shim won't cut it in this case.

> the service ran as root, it UPDATED ITS OWN BINARIES as root!

Would you prefer if Linux allowed local users to replace the kernel and/or its modules without root? What kind of faux-outrage is this?