They can’t possibly be the best because I went into the public bathroom out our local playground last week at 10am and there was a gigantic steaming turd perfectly deposited on the seat of the all-metal prison-style toilet. My 3 year old was as stunned as I was. To think, some local resident was thoughtful enough to bless us with this gift.

Are you telling me my Oakland California toilets are somehow inferior? I find this hard to believe…