alt Hacker NewsFrom experience: it works, and can be an effective tactic when no other options are available.
Long-term, it can be hard to sustain, and maybe a bit unhealthy – it becomes a form of self-betrayal, where you repeatedly suppress genuine negative feelings about dealing with someone difficult. These feelings are there for a reason, even if expressing them with the person triggering them would be counterproductive.
Also, in more extreme cases, the sort of people who are prone to creating drama and conflict pick up on the technique and make it into a battle of wills – who will break and give up first. And they may be a lot better at it than you are, because for them it is a central feature of their personality, and for you it's just a tactic for immediate relief.
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> Long-term, it can be hard to sustain, and maybe a bit unhealthy – it becomes a form of self-betrayal, where you repeatedly suppress genuine negative feelings about dealing with someone difficult.
It is unhealthy simply because it's a rebranded form of passive aggression. The real problem is not yet having figured out why someone like that can get under your skin in the first place.
The exact same situations that can bubble up unhealthy amounts of negative emotion in younger people don't do that in older people. Older people have already been there and done that. They fully understand the behavior and instead of anger or retaliation they usually feel pity or nothing at all. Which mind do you think is healthier?
In other words, there's no escaping life's lessons. Your best bet is to minimize the unavoidable consequences and stay out of trouble. For sure, a big part of that is cutting out bullshit like Esquire. This "grey rocking" stuff is just woo woo nonsense that was meant to prime you for ads that already happened back in 2021.
Well said. In essence grey rocking itself is a form of defensive manipulation. Most of us are prosocial and find it really laborious to keep up. It's an ok tactic when communication is ineffective or harmful. It is probably a bad idea to use it with someone you simply have a point of friction with. It can be hard to know the difference sometimes though.