alt Hacker NewsI find Ramani to be rather contemptuous of or bitter about people she doesn't like. In other words, to me she comes across as somewhat hypocritical.
If you enjoy Ramani, you may also want to read the works of Dr. Lindsay Gibson. She does a great job of guiding people who suffer from having emotionally immature parents, without dehumanizing them. She doesn't even use clinical terms in her books, even though she is a clinical psychologist. The principles are the same even if the people you are struggling with are not your parents.
Therapists can get burned out, especially those who work with NPD people, and Ramani seems over it. Unfortunately that comprises her usefulness as a therapist and as a source of expert advice. Dr. Mark Ettensohn of the YouTube channel Heal NPD is a better source, imo.
Ramani specializes in NPD. People with NPD are not able to provide for themselves emotionally so they rely on others, their “narcissist supply”, to which they become dependent. It’s very much like addiction, except instead of abusing a substance, they end up abusing people in order to meet their needs; people become objects and resources instead of being people. That objectification, if not treated, is how narcissism spreads. That’s the great benefit of grey rocking; they aren’t attracted to people who don’t give them energy and will leave them alone. Yellow rocking is a more positive way to interact with the world, but you have to be really good at setting boundaries, otherwise someone with NPD will misjudge polite engagement as a willingness to give them energy. With NPD people, imho it’s more kind to grey rock, as yellow rocking can make them feel rejected, which adds to their trauma. Like addiction, the thing that helps them recover is to be cut off from their supply, so they can learn to provide for their own emotional needs instead of relying on external sources. Very often empathetic people unintentionally end up acting as enablers which causes more harm. Objectification harms the objectifier as well as the person being objectified; if they see others as objects, they internalize that themselves as well, and become the source of their own trauma.