OP's blog post also rang false to me. It feels like it was written by someone who works in HR trying to promote a culture that inhibits real interactions, under the guise of being "a good human being."

Being a good human involves honesty and naming things that are extremely difficult to name when you're both employed at the same place. I've had so many honest and illuminating conversations with coworkers after one or both of us left a company or organization, conversations that deepened into real friendships instead of just being colleagues.

I modified some of the lines to help!

  - “Hi <firstname>, sorry to hear what <company> did to you; that was a real dick move! I appreciated your efforts and wish you the best!”

  - Offer to help, and follow-up.


  - Only trash the employer if they deserve it, and have a conversation about why they're trash if the person is interested. If they start that, say “Yea, those guys are cunts. Especially your boss Ed. He's incompetent, and has been blocking you and the team ever since he got promoted. They should have promoted you or Stacie instead.”.

  - Carry on the conversation if they're interested. A lot of colleagues don't stay in touch when people get fired. Stay in touch! You'll both be better off for it. Making friends is hard, and losing them is easy.

  - Say things like “wish we could have kept you” or “you were such a great performer. I know why you were laid off, and was a dumb move on the company's part. I'm interviewing at other places now, and will leave as soon as I find a replacement; this is a sinking ship. Let me know once you find something - I'm interested too!”

Hiya, author here.

Have you been laid off or let go?

This statement "...but I doubt it will be genuinely appreciated" implies not. Otherwise I'd expect you to have written "but when I was let go, I would not have genuinely appreciated this type of response".

I have been let go. I truly didn't understand what it was like until I went through it. It was crushing. Really crushing.

That experience doesn't make me a world-class expert, I get it. But I would have loved any acknowledgement of my humanity or appreciation of the worth I provided to my employer from co-workers on that day (or even a few days later).

I also want to acknowledge that people who are former colleagues have a variety of energy they can offer to those who are laid off. The folks who remain have more work on their plate, may wonder about the future of the company, and are generally frustrated or frightened too. I think people who remain should offer whatever consolation they have the ability to, based on their relationship with the folks who are let go.

For some, that might be (as mentioned in other comments) offering up their network and helping someone actively. For others, simply saying goodbye might be all they have energy and space for. I wanted to keep the advice as simple as possible so that folks don't have the excuse of saying to themselves "it's too much work, I have so much going on" and doing nothing, which is, in my experience, worse for the folks who are laid off.

Appreciate the feedback about the coldness and tone. Lots of good suggestions in the comments about how to phrase my advice better.

I had a few other comments below addressing things you brought up that I'll link so I don't repeat myself:

- https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45517727 talks about why I wrote about permission to disengage

- https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45481722 about how it felt when I was let go

- https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45517963 talks more about how I felt when I was laid off (and acknowledges that my experience is N of 1).

- https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45517875 what you should offer to folks who you are closer to (as friends and in geography)

>If not, don't bother them with LLM corporate-speak masquerading as support. Let's be honest: they didn't "part ways" with the company--they were fired.

I can think of few more grotesquely slimy developments in the last century or so of human communications than the blandly saccharine corporate-speak that now prevails in government and business like an ever-spreading parasitic infection. It permeates nearly everything and is used as a shield by shitbag executives and grossly corrupt organizations to disguise their true nature and the many examples of mendacity that their activities really involve.

Now we also see it being applied by the actual people, real people, communicating informally with real other people inside these same organizations, even when they apparently mean well in their own brainwashed, dimwitted way.

If I ever had anyone write a goodbye message to me in which they described me getting my ass fired as "parting ways", i'd plainly tell them to shove such nonsense wording up their ass if they really give a shit about me, or about being human.

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