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nuancebydefaultyesterday at 7:07 PM2 repliesview on HN

What I found after many years, is that women (people in general, really) are not attracted to people who try too hard to get attention from them. Going through great lengths tends to result in being labeled as desperate or creepy. Try just to be friendly and talk "with" them and not "to" them, almost as if you are one of them. By doing that often enough, it will feel less awkward. Practice makes perfect. And then one day you feel a click with someone. Just my few cents.


Replies

ge96yesterday at 7:34 PM

Yeah that's the cliche saying, let them chase you or don't put on a pedestal. Idk not sure if it's because I was raised by women that I need their approval (no male figure). But I know other people who were in the same situation and aren't like me so it must be a personal choice/way you decide to overcome it.

LorenPechtelyesterday at 7:42 PM

The basic problem with this is that the ones that are trying too hard are doing so because the standard approach failed.

Maybe you get lucky, but it's not a general solution.

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