I guess I'm not sure I understand the solution. I use a low value (idk 15 minutes maybe?) because I don't have a static ip and I don't want that to cause issues. It's just me to my home server so I'm not adding noticable traffic like a real company or something, but what am I supposed to do? Is there a way for me to send an update such that all online caches get updated without needing to wait for them to time out?
For a private server with not many users this is mostly irrelevant. Use low ttl if you want to, since you're putting basically 0 load on the DNS system.
> such that all online caches get updated
There's no such thing. Apart from millions of dedicated caching servers, each end device will have it's own cache. You can't invalidate DNS entries at that scope.