I have tried many times to renew my certs and have had 0 successes throughout today. It seems to be 100% degraded to me.

I see you are unfamiliar with status page-ese. “Degraded performance” is a term which means some form of “the entire datacenter is probably on fire”.

What % of requests succeeded vs failed? How many certificates were issued during the outage vs the average? That might actually clear things up