You can host your own identity provider. Authentik, Keycloak, authelia or Zitadel work.
I don’t fully agree with tailscale’s decision to not want to be an identity provider but I understand it on some level. It simplifies their service greatly and the amount of asks for that will essentially have them build a full enterprise Entra-like solution that would be a constant maintain headache and they are not interested in that.
Beyond simplifying their service, it allows Tailscale to have reduced responsibilities (because of reduced collection of sensible data), and makes them a less interesting target for people wanting access to the data (wether illagally by hacking, or legally from government agencies). This probably makes them less attractive as targets for censorship.